Why are Ninjas and Pirates cool? How did lonelygirl15 get 1M page views (a day!)? How did Tuscan Whole Milk get 738 reviews on Amazon?

These are the real mysteries of our time . . . Someone will win a Nobel Prize one day solving these puzzles . . .

(tips to statastic)

My favorite is this one

Once upon a midnight yearning, passion and desire burning
Wide awake with slumber hopeless, I rose in search of tender closeness
The stairs I did descend so softly, bristling with anticipation
Past trysts fueled expectations lofty, bracing for emancipation
Soon the corner I had rounded, heartbeat raced and lust abounded
My presence by the floorboards sounded, switch now flipped, his face astounded
Hopes and dreams came crashing down, despair; how could he do it?
As Tuscan and a bashful scoundrel stared back, exchanging fluids.
I wept for all that had been built, destroyed when he’d been caught
This milk no doubt was many things, but `wholesome’ it was not.

appropriately titled . . . “Lactose Intolerant”. . . cause so am I . . . havent tasted milk since 7th grade . . .

(graphic below will screw up my margins, but its funny enough to be worth it)